“Because you want to deliver the message, his services are no longer needed. And I want to tell him g o o d b y e.”
putting on eyeliner: 10% luck, 20% skill, 15% concentrated power of will, 5% pleasure, 50% pain, and 100% reason to remember the name
6 Days to the English Premier League: Slogans
(Click permalink to replay)
"Now let me dispel a few rumours so they don’t fester into facts. Yes, I too attended at ‘Hell-ton’ and survived. And no, at that time I was not the mental giant you see before you. I was the intellectual equivalent of a 98 pound weakling. I would go to the beach and people would kick copies of Byron in my face."
So, it’s everything then? No glowing eyes. No healing.
Smell, hearing, speed. Everything.
1. Don’t try to piss quietly. Nobody in a public restroom thinks you’re knitting in your stall. They came to piss, just like you. And if you have to take a dump, do it. Get over your fear of public toilets. It’ll make life a lot easier.
2. Masturbate. Masturbate a lot. Talk about it with your friends. You’ve got the right to make yourself feel good and brag about it just like all the boys with extra large kleenex packages on their desks.
3. If you want the large fries, get the large fries. Hunger and appetite are nothing to be ashamed of, just human. Don’t ever feel guilty for eating in front of others. You need to nourish your body to stay alive. We all do.
4. Laugh as loud as you have to, no matter if you snort or gasp or literally scream.
5. Fart when you have to.
6. Always remember you weren’t born to visually please others. Forget the phrase “what if they think it’s ugly”. If you think it’s lovely, it is lovely. You wanna wear it, wear it!
7. Speak your mind! You can learn to do so without insulting others or shoving your opinion down other people’s throats."